No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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