they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
