I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
