I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
