i wish my penis had a tongue
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
