I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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