I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
