Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
