Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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