So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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