glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
