TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
