he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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