Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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