So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was born a porn star she said
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
why do cheetos always look like penises
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Randomize
