Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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