You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
