Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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