At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
