Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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