I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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