My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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