No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She even gives head with a lisp.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
