drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
