I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
