I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
