He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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