I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
