i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
