I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
