Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
