have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
