oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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