ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
