I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You are the jesus of drinking
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
