I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
