Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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