Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
