Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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