i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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