i just google imaged poop.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
