i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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