Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
