There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
