im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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