Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
