watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
