then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
