thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
