He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just invented taco cereal.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
whose parrot is this?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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