We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
