But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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